Tuesday, January 25, 2011

If I ruled the world, the Oscars would be awesome.

Since the reality of this year's Oscar prospective winners is too much for me to bear, I've created my own list of nominees. The Academy can suck it. Once you snub Christopher Nolan for the third time, I'm out. If Ben Affleck's glitter-laden fecal matter of a movie gets a single nomination, I'm out (sorry Jeremy, it's true). If a pregnant Padme takes priority over an incredible new starlet who held her own against blood-thirsty Ozark goons, I'm out. If I had it my way, here's how the Oscars would go down, GO!:

Best Original Screenplay
"Inception" - Just because you were too daft to figure it out, doesn't mean it wasn't immaculate.

Best Adapted Screenplay
"Never Let Me Go" - Very much worthy, and a beautiful novel (Kazuo Ishiguro) to boot.

Best Art Direction
"Scott Pilgrim vs. The World" - Did you see this movie? OMFGamazing!

Best Costume Design
"Agora" - How did this not make the list?

Best Cinematography
"Valhalla Rising” - Fog and stone and lush Viking landscapes.

Best Original Score
Danny Elfman, "Alice in Wonderland" - The Elfman cometh.

Best Visual Effects
"Tron: Legacy" - 'Iron Man 2' for real?! Was the creation of Clu not enough to earn a nomination? Geez...

Best Animated Feature Film
"Despicable Me” - Much funnier and more creative than 'Toy Story 3.'

Best Documentary Feature
"Exit Through The Gift Shop" - It's on my watch list, but I've been a fan of Banksy since high school, so there.

Best Foreign Language Film
"Mother" - Cerebral and disturbing. Spotlight on Korean filmmakers, please!

Best Supporting Actor
John Hawkes, "Winter's Bone" - Loved him on 'Deadwood', loved him as Teardrop. He deserves it.

Best Supporting Actress
Hailee Steinfeld, "True Grit" - You go, girl.

Best Actor
It's a tie for me: Jeff Bridges or James Franco - No thank you, Jesse Eisenberg.

Best Actress
Jennifer Lawrence, "Winter's Bone" - A rugged and violent performance is more deserving than that of a schizophrenic ballerina.

Best Director
Christopher Nolan, "Inception" - I'm shocked that he was snubbed.

Best Picture
"Inception" - It was the only movie I saw this year that was flawless. The way I felt coming out of the dark and into the light of day is a feeling I die for. A true work of art.


  1. I so agree with this list, and I'm all over the Inception love. What a crime against humanity to snub Christopher Nolan... seriously! Anyway, great blog, I've enjoyed looking through your posts.

  2. @ Lauren:

    Thanks for the flattery! Yeah, 2010 was a pretty shitty year for movies. I like your blog, by the way, you can consider yourself followed :)


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