"Drive Angry" is cheesy and desperate, but not without some fun: C

Watching the grotesque on-screen demise of Nicholas Cage is almost as fun as following the cocaine-enrichened narcisstic rampage of Charlie Sheen. Oh, how Nic Cage has fallen. That poor guy. He performed well in films such as "Matchstick Men," "Leaving Las Vegas," and "The Rock." And then he turns out absolute crap, such as "The Wicker Man," "National Treasure," and "Season of The Witch." This month's "Drive Angry" is somewhere in between the gold and the shit.

Nic Cage stars as Milton, a man who escapes Hell and returns to Earth to seek revenge for the death of his adult daughter. Before she was murdered, her infant baby was stolen by a Satanic cult that she associated with. The leader is this cult is Jonah King (Billy Burke), who believes that sacrificing the child will appease Satan and all Hell will break loose *blah blah blah*. So, Milton is on a mission to hunt down Jonah King. Along the way he runs into Piper (Amber Heard), a rough n' tumblin' loudmouth Southern gal with nothing to lose (who also happens to own a badass Dodge Charger - a bit cliche, if you ask me). Milton and Piper embark on a journey through the heartland, with The Accountant (William Fichtner) hot on their trail. Although it's never really talked about, it's clear that The Accountant's job centers around making sure that Satan's books are balanced - hence the reason why he chases down Milton.

Let's cut to the chase:

- If you have a choice of avoiding the 3D version, I highly recommend that you do. The trailers advertised it as "shot in 3d," but I have a feeling that it was post-production. If it truly was shot in 3D, then the crew members responsible should be fired. The 3D didn't help to make this movie any cooler vis-a-vis "The Green Hornet."

- The whole Satanic cult angle was ridiculous. It was extremely difficult for me to believe Jonah King (Billy Burke) as a hardcore devil-worshipper. It was also difficult for me to ignore the lack of creativity when it came time for the movie to explain the purpose of the cult itself. They used the "Rosemary's Baby" route of infant sacrifice, which The Accountant explains, just annoys Lucifer. But yet I'm supposed to fear for the life of the baby when the movie itself acknowledges that it's all just a bunch of hocus-pocus.

- In terms of casting, I always love to see William Fichtner. (His small role in "The Dark Knight" in the first scene is awesome!) He was perfect as The Accountant. Amber Heard surprised me with her believability. For me, she's a more tolerable version of Megan Fox. Nic Cage did his thing, and it was quite fun to watch.

- I was happy to see that this movie spilled some serious blood. People get shot, stabbed, beheaded, and slashed. And it was done in a way that wasn't gut-wrenching, but wickedly funny.

I didn't think I was going to see this one. The trailer wasn't motivating, and I was wary of Nic Cage's return to my intimate movie life. But I was surprised to find out that this movie was decent. It was definitely a step above some of the other crap that's been released so far, but "Drive Angry" was a cheesy, modernized Grindhouse knockoff.