"Machete" lives up to its 'Grindhouse' trailer - bloody, sexy, and out of control: B+

It's about time someone gave Danny Trejo his own movie. Although he's not the best actor in the world, you can't deny the magic behind those scars.

Robert Rodriguez is a genius. He may never win an Oscar, but his work is impressive. He makes movies fun. It's obvious that "Machete" isn't meant to be a serious movie. There's no hidden agenda behind Rodriguez's films - it's pure entertainment.

Let's get to my analysis:

- Perhaps one of the best parts of this movie was seeing Cheech Marin with two fists full of shotguns. Cheech is always hilarious, and his cameo in this movie was no exception. (He offers Machete a Cuban cigar, but upon Machete's request for a 'Mexican', Cheech busts out a box of beautifully-rolled joints).

- Steven Seagal was perfectly cast as the drug kingpin Torrez, the man that Machete is after to avenge the brutal death of his wife. Seagal made light of his role, and pronounced "puñeta" much better than Chuck Norris ever could.

- Jessica Alba and Michelle Rodriguez provided the wet-dream material for the film. As an I.C.E. field agent, Alba joins ranks with Machete once she learns about the corruption of Texas state senator McLaughlin (Robert De Niro). Luz (Michelle Rodriguez) heads The Network, a group of revolutionary immigrants hell-bent on creating a just system for the Mexicans. Both Alba and Rodriguez were smokin' hot, and provided a pro-feminist perspective for the ladies to enjoy.

- The action was truly spectacular! Machine guns, pistols, throwing knives, samurai swords, and - of course - machetes. What more can you ask for?

- Don Johnson and Robert De Niro were the perfect bad guys. Although painted in a VERY bad and corrupt light, the two villains were both scary and comic.

- I wasn't very happy that Lindsay Lohan appeared in this movie. I have to admit that seeing her (practically) nude was one of the low-points for me. Bad form, Mr. Rodriguez.

"Machete" kept its promise. That's the bottom line. Go see this movie!