"Predators" remembers its roots: B

Let's get it out of the way: no one will ever make a Predator movie as well as John McTiernan. Ever. Not even Robert Rodriguez - but he did well, and paid homage to the awesomely cheesy, over-the-top testosterone-injected original.

Adrien Brody packed on the muscle and Morpheus packed on the chubb. Seriously...was it necessary to put Mr. Fishburne through this?! I love the guy, but no one will be able to leave the theater without wondering if that was the same drug-dealing badass who took out the Twins on the freeway.

Some key parallels that were much noticed and appreciated:

1) The return of the rail gun (yes! that sexy, wailing piece of French craftsmanship)

2) The strong, silent warrior who has the balls the face the Predator ALONE (in the newest version, a Yakuza pawn wielding a nice piece and a samurai sword)

3) The song at the end credits is the same song from the original that plays in the helicopter before the team gets dropped (you remember..."how bout a little pussy?")

Rodriguez introduced a new variety of Predator, with larger mandibles and about two feet taller than the original. Prepare yourself for a one-on-one Predator fight.

The planet that the soldiers land on is full of Pandora-like creatures, with huge teeth and webbed neck collars. A little cheesy, but a pretty refreshing twist on the plot.

Of course, it goes without saying there is a tinge of romance between Royce (Adrien Brody) and Isabelle (Alice Braga)...but alas, bloodshed always seems to get in the way of their first kiss.

Speaking of blood shed, this one is pretty mild. But of course, in a world full of "Hostel"s and "Saw"s, nothing really bothers me anymore. Not even someone's entire spine with the skull still attached being ripped from behind them. Nope, didn't even flinch.

So now that another Predator movie's been made that DIDN'T involve a sleepy mountain town or an annoying, Amazonian black woman, I'm pretty satisfied.